"How does one go about resigning from the human race?"

- Stephanie Cole

"Live by the foma* that make you brave and kind and healthy and happy."
- The Books of Bokonon. I: 5

















*Harmless untruths

Ho gaye poore ki khaab tere?

"Haal ki hai tera
suna phir
kina chir hoya mileya
ho gaye poore ki khaab tere
ja bacheya aye koi gila?"

-Rabbi Shergill, "Tu Avin Bandra"

Bojh

Thak haar kar ek din bandar madari se bola... "Ek bojh hai mere kandhon pe... unn sabhki nazron mein ek ummeed hai mujhse... mujhse pehle jo naach dikha kar gaye... vaisa naach dekhna chahte hain woh mujhse... ek ghrina se dekhte hain mujhe jabh main saans lene ko bhi rukoon... kya mera naach kabhi bhayega unhe?"

Vidvan madari ne phat se daadi khujlate hue kaha... "Aaj tumhe unki nazar ka moh hai... jis din naach ke moh mein pad jaoge, uss din saare bojh uth jaayenge..."

Phir bas damroo bajta gaya, daadi khujlayi gayi, aur naach dikhaya gaya... moh ki talash mein hi sahi... bojh sada hi uthaya gaya.

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/pattie_maes_demos_the_sixth_sense.html

Pakad

Ek jhoot dikha do aisa, jo sach maan loon main
Bhare ujaale mein hai andhera, thaan loon main
Khayal mein khone se kyun darr nahi lagta
Wahan kyun dhoop ka teekha asar nahi lagta
Ek pakad hai khayalon pe, jiski taras hai asal mein
Haath se behta paani hai warna, kal aaj aur kal mein
Deewarein banayi hain khayalon se chaaron oar maine
Tabhi toh roz toofanon pe aazmaya hai zor maine
Pakad meri hai ya khayalon ki, kabhi sochta hoon main
Jaane kyun iss tarah, deewaron ko kharonchta hoon main

Isolation is Insulation

Far and away from them, from it all. That's where I chose to escape. I was sure I had created something that could sustain itself, could go on without me. I failed. Now my defense is the cloak of objective, detached reasoning. I make precise incisions, nicely affixing labels to each piece. All of their behavior is dissected meticulously and the pieces are categorized into neat little piles. Each pile to serve as evidence for a rather disinterested judge, judging the validity of my theories about human motivations. Almost with resignation, the judge delivers the same judgment he's delivered so many times before. The cold wave of cynicism should, from now on, wet everyone equally. No special allowances for those visible in sepia. The glory of the past is as much a lie as the promise of the future. Avoid weakness. Don't accept it. Don't embrace it. Fight it.

"Main madira nahi peeti ji..."

I like to be intoxicated. It allows me to feel helpless. It's sad that I need to seek permission to feel helpless.

That's no reason not to fall in love again. :)

For more: http://www.asofterworld.com/

Of Time, Distance, and Love

This should really be a blog about love, given the number of posts I dedicate to it. I saw another relationship crumble today under the pressures of time and distance. That's the third this month. It's like somebody's out to disprove everything I knew or believed about love. First, G and Delta2, then R and O, and now NPCWD and S. Also, B and two others were having trouble, last I heard - again, thanks to time and distance. It's sad that I cease to be amazed now. Does nothing last forever, not even cold November rain?

Well there were some upsides - P and D got married, Sh and Simone hooked up, and Delta2 found someone else (upside for her, I guess). Will they survive against time and distance? I hope so. From where I stand right now, the odds are heavily in their favor - not all the relationships around me can fail, can they? I guess all I can do is wait and watch.

For now, let's evaluate the laws...

Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Time is the greatest healer. But a long distance, for a long time, and you might as well say your goodbyes.

I guess everyone knows this already. Love is the real bitch here. When you love someone, it makes you stupider than you ever thought possible, you think it'll be alright, that you can weather any storm, you plan your entire life around that one person, and you think that time and distance can't touch you, but the moment you look away... bam! It hits you in the back of the head and says "Ha Ha, gotcha!".

Anyway. What can you do? Put on your happy face, and keep putting it on, until it's worn out.

Not looking forward...

...is so difficult. There is obviously a lot of sense to the reasoning that if you keep looking towards the future or the past, you miss out on what you're doing right now. Strictly speaking of course there is no present time, it's all future and past, but maintaining a short-term focus can save you from the paralyzing effects of thinking long-term.

The moment you look at a longish period in the future, which you know nothing about, you start looking at the longish past. Think of it like this - the brain pulls data from the memory about past experiences and runs some sort sophisticated statistical learning algorithm to determine what experiences are most likely in the future, and then it goes one step further and groups those experiences into most likely "tracks" or "routes" your life will take. So, at the end of all this analysis you have a picture of your future destination. Based on a less than extraordinary life, the picture of the future is not extraordinary for most of us. That's usually depressing. For those of us with ambition/imagination/whatever else you want to call it, it's as if the brain disregards the evidence from past experiences and instead draws data from your "desires" and fools you into believing that your most likely route is how you'd like it to be. This reasoning of course is no more faulty than the initial one based only on historical data, but faulty nevertheless. Either way you're setting yourself up for disappointment because life is so random. Also, in the process of auditing your past to predict your future, you realize how much failure and disappointment you've accumulated over the years. You carry that weight on your shoulders while looking into the future. That's why it's better to focus on the short-term. Not too many accumulated failures there, and also predictions about the short-term future tend to be more accurate, because all the information associated with it is in clear view and fresh in memory.

Coming back to why it's so difficult to just focus on the short-term.

1. You don't trust the GPS. You know how when the GPS tells you something absurd in the short-term, like making a turn where there is none, you begin to doubt the entire route. You have to zoom out and look at the whole route.
2. You're always told of these way-too-wise people who had it all planned. Annoying relatives/acquaintances who planned out their entire lives and never had any trouble doing things according to plan and look how well they're doing now etc. Then there's the visionaries the world speaks of who saw it all before everyone because they were able to look at the big picture.
3. Too much faith in your predictive cabailities. The reason people invest in forex markets.
4. The fear of not having fulfilled your desires before you die. Considering that there are those whose only desire is to not die tomorrow, this reason applies only to the privileged few.

1 and 3 seem most difficult to overcome. Interestingly they seem like two sides of the same coin: self-doubt and over-confidence. Basically in both cases you don't know yourself. You're lying to yourself about your abilities.

Anyway, the reason for this longish and boring post is to avoid looking forward. It seems like there's a lot to look forward to this year. Maybe it'll all go as planned. Hopefully it won't.

Life mein thoda surprise hona maangta hai. :)

"Kar le kar le abh kuch aisa kar le, kar le
Tu aaj anginat roshan kiranon se tann mann bhar le, bhar le
Mashaalein, jala le, dil mein."