Sunshine

There are some things that you imagine you just can't compete with. Some extremes you never thought existed. It’s those ideals you build in life. Sometimes you meet these imposters, so miraculously good at their tricks, that you give up all hope of finding any imperfections in them. Given enough amount of time, sure you'll see that its just a trick, and sure you'll have an excuse to not live up to your ideals again, just because nobody's perfect, but for those few moments you are bound to worship in your heart the perfection with which some people imitate or reject your ideals.

The obvious question is—who let the cat out of the bag? How did they know what your ideals looked like? That’s something you’ll probably never know. Fortunately some of these imposters, you’ll only know for those few magical moments. That’s what keeps the ideals alive I guess.

It’s scary though – what they’ll inspire you to do within those moments, with those tricks of theirs. I know one has me chasing dreams of brilliance. Another has me testing the limits of my patience. Another has me hating the entire corporate world. Another had me mistrusting my judgment. And yet another makes me think I’m worth something. And a recent addition to those few, is sunshine. God knows what sunshine will have me do. All I know is, it’s been six months since I’ve written anything, and here I am, completely sober, mumbling to myself about this new ideal I’ve found.

I may one day, learn to ignore these imposters, but until then I will continue to fear them, love them, hate them, be inspired by them, imitate them, suspect them, scrutinize them... No event, no memory, no sight, no sound, no experience has been more powerful in shaping my desires, my dreams, my self-image, me... than these imposters.